…and you knew having a baby would not be easy. But this? It’s a level you weren’t expecting. The anxiety, the doubt, the sadness. The strain it’s putting on your relationships. You want to feel like yourself. You want to enjoy your baby. You want to look back on this time and know you could feel present in your baby’s first weeks and months. You wonder if that’s possible…

…and being a parent just adds a layer of complication to it. It seems like your friends have active grandparents in their children’s lives, and you feel like the only one with a gaping hole where your parent should be. You want to pick up the phone and ask your loved one questions about teething or tantrums, or just tell them how much you miss them. Some days you can cope, and some days it feels like the grief is too much to hold. You wonder if there’s anyone who can help you, even though there’s nothing to “fix”…

…and realize you know your kids better than you know yourself these days. Maybe you’ve heard the term “matrescence” and know that the transition to motherhood is it’s own unique developmental phase, but you thought you’d be more secure in your identity by now. Other people’s expectations make it even more confusing. And why can’t you stop comparing yourself to that other mom? You want your kids to be strong and secure human beings, but motherhood has you feeling burnt out and insecure. You wonder how you can regain your sense of self…